Film At Eleven

Lyrics: Earl Stillson
Music: David Nelson

Film at eleven, don't you touch that dial
The camera's in the courtroom comin' live from the trial
Got people here who say they've been abused
We got just what you need, down on the evening news

Film at eleven, and they're fixing to show
More information than I needed to know
It ain't like I got nothing else to do
Got a rock in my pocket and a wore out shoe

There is something goin' on out there, it's way too quiet
The man says "fine and dandy" but, uh, I don't buy it
Let's start a rumor - then let's deny it
If we don't have a party there's gonna be a riot

Film at eleven, don't you touch that dial
You wanna see a lady eat a whole crocodile?
Then kick it back and take a little snooze
Well, just keep yourself glued to the evening news

Look what they're shooting now - it's sure to amuse
Some poor guy's duodenum from a gnat's eye view
Hey, I can't get enough of that, can you?
Oh, it's all I can do to watch the evening news

I would really like to know just what is goin' on
That is, unless I get a chance to mow the lawn
It's just the same old sales routine
A thinly veiled motor-mouth explaining what it means

There's a special place in hell that's got a cactus bed
Coffee break is over now get back on your head
You better dig up something funny
Or say goodbye forever to the land of milk and honey

Film at eleven, is your slinky for hire
Juvenile delinquency is catchin' on fire
What better way to have to pay your dues
Your life story according to the evening news

Film at eleven, we got miles and miles
You want a little gossip, we got piles and piles
All the dirt that fits, who's doin' who
And every last word is confirmedly true

You can get it all here down on the evening news
Oh, it's all I can do to watch the evening news